Okay, so I'm supposed to come up with a family-related topic to discuss this week...
We're still in the stage of getting to know each other, and part of that is to know where we all come from. Where people come from, in my experience, has a lot to do with their families. So, we've done the basics: how many people are in your family, where are you from, what is your heritage, etc.
Thing is, you can know all that stuff, but then all you know are some facts. Facts do not equal insight or understanding.
CHALLENGE TIEM, GAIZ.
Come up with one memory- one scene, if you will- that defines your family, and post about it. If that's too difficult, come up with one tradition or recurring activity that says a lot about who you guys are and what's important to you.
If you like, feel free to treat your one memory as creative writing. Or, if that is not your thing, don't. But have fun with it either way.
Also: if your family life's been bad, I realize you may not want to lay it out for us all to see. I apologize in advance for any discomfort and encourage you to just say "I am totes not comfortable with this, sorry" if you see fit.
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Family is basically everything to me. The way I see it is that family is what makes life worth living. There are plenty of traditions and whatnot that defines my family, however one specific situation has stuck with me since it happened.
My grandfather was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease a few years before I was born. He passed away when I was ending my freshmen year of high school, but even though I had to see him at his worst I still consider him one of the strongest men I've known.
I feel like I somehow owe my mom so much because she was constantly there helping my grandmother take care of him, not just on the bad days but the good as well. It was like a routine in my life for every single night to go visit my grandparents. My mom was the only one of her brothers and sisters to do this. The others would visit about once a week, but she made sure she was there every night. I feel so lucky to have a mom that cares enough that she did this for my grandfather.
When my grandfather's health began to decline more drastically over his last year, the rest of the family began coming around more often, but it was still my mom who continued to be there each night. Though my dad couldn't be there all the time, (he worked late) he always did whatever he could to support my mom in taking care of him. At one point my mom stayed at my grandparents for a week and my dad took over the usual household chores that belonged to my mom. When the day came that my grandfather passed away, I remember talking with my cousins and them saying how they should have been there more to see him and spent more time with him. I don't have any regrets like these, and I owe it all to my mom.
This situation has defined my immediate family because it was and it continues to be living proof that both of my parents will do anything and everything for our family. I know that it sounds cliche to say, but it's exactly what describes my family. My parents, my sisters, and I all got to spend time and have some of the best times being with my grandfather. I'm so thankful to my mom and dad that I remember my grandfather as being happy and healthy. Looking back on all of the sacrifices they made to help my grandfather and to make sure that he knew me and I knew him, I want my future children to have the same relationship because what good is having family if you're not going to spend as much time as you can with them?
I can not say that i have just one memory that makes my family who they are. I think back and see many little scenes from every time we've had a reunion or any type of gathering and the one thing I see is humor. My family has the ability to make a joke out of any situation. They all tease each other and even themselves just for a laugh. I can't remember any time in my life when I didn't look forward to a family reunion for that reason. It is like being at last comic standing for five days straight, what could beat that?
However, that is just my mom's side of the family.
My dad's side is definitely tied more together by our Arabic culture than anything else. We share in the traditions that are well for lack of better words, traditional, and that brings us all closer as a family. I can't say that they lack the comedy my mom's side has but it is funny in a different way, mostly that my dad, uncle, and twenty-three year old cousin are making most of the jokes, like children in an anatomy class.
So, as superficial as this sounds comedy and my family's ability to always laugh has brought us very close together, and it is something I will always love about who I am.
The memories I love the most about my family are those that involve traditional celebrations and get-togethers, mainly for holidays. The two most memorable holidays with my family were always Thanksgiving and Christmas.
I am using the past tense because the family that I am speaking of consists of my parents, brother and sister, cousins, aunt and uncle. While I was growing up, we all lived in Albuquerque and never missed spending the holiday together. A few years ago, however, my aunt, uncle and cousins moved to Tennessee. Last summer, my sister and her husband followed them to Tennessee.
That is what makes these memories even more priceless to me. Growing up in my family, as close and loving as we were, is what molded me into the person I am today.
For both Christmas and Thanksgiving, there was a traditional schedule.
Whether it was at my house or my aunt and uncle's, the host was the main provider of food. However, when the guests arrived, my mom or aunt spent the beginning of the evening in the kitchen helping the other prepare dinner.
During this time, the rest of the family socialized, and when it was time for dinner we all held hands and prayed together. Then it was time to eat.
Conversations were always interesting. Sometimes we talked about controversial subjects, or my uncle or brother talked about something humorous that had us all laughing until we had stomachaches. My dad always contributed his share of puns to keep us guessing. After dinner, we played games. The most frequent game was Trivial Pursuit. I got every question wrong, but enjoyed the game regardless because of the time with my family.
At the end of the night, I hated leaving or going to bed, but by the time the next holiday came around it was time to repeat the process all over again. I miss those days.
These memories are so much more important to me now that my family does not live close anymore, and I cherish them immensely. Time with them is even more precious each time we visit, and often things proceed in a similar pattern as they used to. I associate this tradition of my family with the bond that we share, and with what family is in my eyes.
My family memories are amazing and looking back they never fail to make me smile. My immediate family is composed if me, my parents, and my 28 year old brother.
My mom's sister lives across the street from my parents house and so she's pretty much immediate family as well. My mom is one of 4. she and her sister have two older brothers one of whom also lives close and one who lives in california. This side of the family is very close and I think we have amazing traditions. On someone's birthday, they pick a restaurant for all of us to go to. After the restaurant we go to their house for presents, cake, and ice cream. Then we just hangout and possibly watch a movie or something. This tradition makes birthdays more special and I love that we make sure to do it. This side of the family also celebrates christmas dinner on christmas eve instead of christmas day, which makes me look forward to christmas eve way more.
My dad is one of seven. His side of the family is huge and so we have our christmas day traditions with them. I love getting to spend christmas with both sides of my family. This side of the family loves to play games including taboo, cranium, and karaoke to name a few. We also especially love to play white elephant on christmas day. The women in my family are amazing cooks and on christmas the other thing i love is that they each bring their specialty from the turkey to the pumpkin log.
Basically my family is amazing and we have a lot of traditions I love!
One of the traditions in my immediately family is that we make dumplings together every once in a couple of months. My mom does most of the “making” of the dumplings, but my brother, my dad, and I help out the best we can. My brother and I usually end up having to make the dumpling wraps out of dough, which is very tedious. My dad usually boils the dumplings. Of course, my dad, brother, and I help out the most in the eating department :).
I believe this tradition embodies what my family is about. Family time is really important, and so, that is why we set this time apart to spend together to make dumplings. My mom could easily just buy dumplings from the store, but instead, we spend a couple of hours making them. It is true that homemade dumplings are more delicious, but Trader Joe’s offers a close second (Their Chinese dumplings are simply amazing!). Also, making Chinese dumplings signifies the importance of our Chinese culture to my family. Because we live in America, my immediate family is very accustomed to the American lifestyle, and so in making Chinese dumplings and speaking Chinese at home, my mom and dad have helped my brother and me identify more with being Chinese. A simple thing like making dumplings allows my family to embrace family time and hold on to our Chinese culture. I cherish the time we spend together, because my family is so important to me, and I can’t imagine what my life would be like without them.
The coolest thing about this tradition is that when I visited China this last summer, I was able to make dumplings with my grandmother. Being able to make the dumplings made me feel like home in China. Although I can speak Chinese, there were many little things I could not understand about China, and I felt a bit out of place, especially since I dressed differently, didn’t know how to haggle, and everyone in my extended family singled me out to speak English to them. However, because I had seen the process of making dumplings in my home in America, I was very much able to help my grandmother, and thus, I felt a little less out of place. I truly understood then why making dumplings was so important to me.
Wow. Great responses so far, guys!
I promise I'll answer my own question too, eventually :)
On both sides of my family, the family parties have always been a tradition. I'm not too close with my dad's side of the family; I usually only see them on Thanksgiving and Christmas. But the gathering is always so special since we do not get to see each other as often.
However, my mom's side of the family constantly is throwing family parties for absolutely no reason, just to have everyone get together. For example, my cousin just moved into her new apartment last weekend and had everyone over for breakfast. They even get as ridiculous as a family party for the Entourage premiere. Any reason for everyone to see each other is definitely taken.
The main family parties, apart from Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter, are my mom and her three sister's birthdays. It is an enchilada dinner and it only happens four times a year and it is cherished.
The scene always looks the same. My papa, my uncles and brother sit in the living room usually watching football or whatever sport happens to be playing at the time and of course it would not be complete without them talking thrash to each other. My Nana and Auntie Sandy are in the kitchen cooking. The kitchen table is full of all my aunties, my three girl cousins and myself talking and talking about everything and anything that comes to mind. Then of course there is my two antisocial boy cousins. One is 15 and the other is 18, when they "hang out", they sit next to eachother with their ipods in, texting, playing some game on their ipod touches and usually watching some weird sci-fi show on tv. They are very technologically savvy.
I always like to transfer from group to group just to see what everyone is talking about and also because I get bored easily. When the food is ready, the family of the daughter whose birthday it is gets to go first. Then all the boys rush as if they have never eaten food before.
Finally, everyone comes together and eats as one family. It is the best part. The cake, which my Auntie Martha makes, and ice cream is next. My family is weird and one of the main things we are known for is that the birthday person makes their wish, blows out their candles and then we all sing them happy birthday.
When I think of my family, this is the first scene that pops into mind. It occurs often but every family party is just as special as the rest to me. My whole family except for two cousins live in Albuquerque, which has allowed us all to remain very close. Growing up with such a close knit family has truly made me cherish having so many people around that care for each other and will always be there no matter what. I know that this is not found as commonly these days and I'm so lucky to be able to have them around all of the time! :)
Ok, I think now would be a good time for me to speak.
Unlike many of you, my extended family lives far away from me: most in Illinois, some in Arizona, some in Boston. I have not been fortunate enough to have them as a main part of my life. So when I think of a memory that defines my family, it's just my nuclear family that comes to mind.
Here's what you need to know about us:
Picture a family of four sitting around the dinner table in a small, yellow room. The blinds are drawn; it's already dark out. The remains of a really delicious dinner (braised turkey legs, actually, cooked by the dad for his daughters' birthday) sit on the table. Dinner was served at six; it's eight now, and nobody is ready to leave the table because they're still all talking. Paul Desmond's saxophone drifts from the adjoining living room; the Shih Tzu under the table lifts his head briefly, chin fur flattened, and then snuggles back down. The humans continue talking. One of the daughters gets up and begins rubbing her mom's neck to alleviate the headache that she has forming. They'll get around to the birthday cake eventually.
I think that tradition is a big part of family life. For me, the memories and traditions in my family that stick with me the most are holidays at my grandmother's house on my mom's side. My mom is one of nine children. When holidays came around we would start out with small celebrations at home, but the eventual question was "When are we going to Mamo's house?"
My grandmother lives in a small townhouse on the west side of Albuquerque, so when my aunts, uncles, cousins, and everyone else was there, it was always kind of crowed. The kids would go to the backyard and play while the adults had "boring" conversations in the living room.
My favorite part was, of course, the food. My grandma is an amazing cook, and all my other family members would contribute their specialties. When it came time to eat everyone would crowd around her small kitchen table and dig in.
What I remember most from those times was the laughter and warmth in that house when everyone got together to celebrate. Sadly, celebrations at my grandma's house have become fewer, for various reasons. We still go over there at holidays, but we have started spending more holidays at home. Even though those celebrations are not the same, I'll always have fond memories of those simpler times.
I am the only member in my family that was born and raised in New Mexico. My mom, dad and brother, were the first in our extended family to leave Texas and create their home in another state. Needless to say, many of my childhood memories are vivid with countless summer road trips to visit my cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents in Abilene and Del Rio, Texas.
Most of my dads’ side of the family lives in Abilene. My most cherished memories in Abilene are with my grandfather. He was so patient and calm with my brother and I and we loved spending time with him. He would take us to the local bakery and we would buy a loaf of the “day-old” bread. The first time he took us there my brother and I looked at each other thinking, “Does it taste better after a day?” Our 4 and 10 year old minds grew with curiosity as he pulled up to a beautiful park. There were tons of giant old Oak and Cyprus trees, not to mention the green lush grass that is nonexistent in New Mexico. My brother and I ran over the big grass hill only to run into a pond in the center of the park. This wasn’t a tiny pond this pond was HUGE. There were tons of ducks swimming and waddling around the outer edge of it. My brother and I were in heaven. We crumbled little pieces of our day old bread and tossed it to the ducks. They were all around us and some were even eating out of our hands. We thought it was pretty much the coolest thing ever to say the least. As if that wasn’t cool enough, my grandpa rented a paddleboat for us to take out on the pond. I remember getting my little orange lifejacket on and sitting behind my brother and grandpa as they paddled us around. One of my other favorite memories of my paternal grandparents is my grandmothers’ baking. She makes the most incredible desserts I have ever had. This past summer, I was able to bake a coconut crème pie from scratch with her. It was so special to me because that was always a childhood favorite of mine. But then again, who doesn’t like pie.
My moms’ side of the family mainly lived in Del Rio, Texas when my brother and I were growing up. Going to Del Rio was a party. I had way more cousins than I did on my dads’ side and all of us cousins were around the same age. My partner in crime was my cousin, Jarred. Jarred is a year older than me and always made sure that I was fully aware he was the older one. Del Rio is a very small border town and there really is not a whole lot to do there. However, my aunt always kept us plenty entertained. I remember running around outside in the hot Texas sun or swimming at the local pool. My birthday is in June and I always had a big family birthday with my family, cousins and their friends.
Wow... Really? My computer posted that three times. I swear I can do this :p
There have been so many amazing times and relationships in my family, that it's nearly impossible for me to come up with just one scene that defines my family...but I'll try.
I'm closest to my Mom's side of the family and I have close to about 20 to 25 cousins on that side. (I'm not exactly sure how many.) I'm the 4th to the youngest in this family. There are 4 girl cousins that are close to my age range, two older and two younger, and the 5 of us are really close. Especially when we were younger, we were practically inseparable.
During holidays, all our families would gather together at my Grandma's house and pray together, eat lots of good food and sit around the big table playing spoons! Those times were the best. Then my 4 cousins and I would always run off to my Grandma's bedroom and gather around the bed and play silly games and talk and generally have a wonderful time.
During the summers, it was a tradition to drive up to Colorado Springs to visit a one of my great aunts. (My great aunt is a nun and lives at a convent in CO springs.) Although it sounds like it would probably boring there, my cousins and I always had the best of times. There were a series of houses up in the hills where guests were welcomed to stay. They were beautiful but some were a little mysterious, with basements and locked up doors etc. My cousins and I would go crazy making up scary stories and exploring the dark passageways.
Although all these memories are simple, they mean the world to me. My cousins especially, have been such an important part of my life. And my growing up years would have been incomplete without them.
I have the perfect family moment. It was in the summer a few years ago. It was when it still was iffy as to whether or not my cousins and I could use curse words. I distinctly remember that. When we were younger we only got to see my mom's side of the family once a year, at my godmother's house for Thanksgiving. As we got older, the cousins started to grow closer, and so we started having our mini family reunions twice a year, still at Thanksgiving, and again in the summer. These are still some of my favorite memories that I will ever have. In this one, I think it was one of the very first times we got together. We had all been in the open living/dining room watching tv, but there was a thunderstorm going on. Of course it wasn't long before the lights went out. Then we were all somehow gathered around the kitchen table and my uncle started telling us this fantastic ghost story about how he and our other uncle had their car breakdown and had to go to this house full of women to use the phone. Then the women all just started pulling their hair off because they were wigs. It still sounds a little weird right now but let me tell you, in the dark with the candles lit and my uncle, the biggest bullshitter (sorry for the language!) ever, telling the story, it was pretty darn creepy. My cousin, who was probably in her twenties at the time, absolutely freaked out. It was hilarious. Then, to calm her down, my aunts started telling stories about angels, like angel encounters I suppose you could say. That side of my family has always been big on angels; I'm not quite sure why. It is really neat to hear the stories, though. It took me a while to think of what to write for this post, but when I remembered this, I knew I wanted to write about it. It's not a particularly intellectual or deep, but it is meaningful. I just felt in that moment that we were the perfect family, like we belonged on a tv show or something. Just kidding, we definitely do not belong on a tv show. This all happened before I found out about stuff that was going on in my family. After this we grew up, and we can use curse words, and we find out about things that we were blissfully unaware of when we were younger.
It is hard for me to come up with one instance or memory that defines my family. I believe that family is not a thing that can be defined in one instance. Just like you cannot judge everything about a family by knowing/talking to one person in it.
My family is a dysfunctional unorganized combination of lots of conflicting ideas and somehow that's what makes it work. So being asked to pinpoint one instance or tradition is not an easy task.
I guess one tradition that we always seem to do is going camping every summer together. Getting out of the house and into a new environment is always fun.
I, like Alise, am the only one in my family that lives in New Mexico. This excludes my great aunt and uncle who call Socorro home, but are more like vagabonds. Anyway, since none of my family lives here, there is always travel involved to go see any of them. Most of my mom's extended family makes their residency throughout Colorado, but I feel like the majority of my family lives in Texas, particularly Lubbock.
Lubbock is southeast of Albuquerque in the panhandle of Texas, and, depending on how fast you drive, it's about a 5 1/2 to 6 hour trip. I LOVE going to see my family, but half the fun is in getting there.
We have made this trip more times than I can count. When I was younger, I used to DREAD having to make the LONG drive. I would fill my backpack full of things to do: books on tape, coloring books, cards, anything to take my mind off the day long drive with boring scenery. My activities kept me occupied, but the more we made the trip, the less I came to loathe it. Eventually, I even came to enjoy the drives. This is because of my company.
I love my parents, but they drive me crazy too. Yet, for some reason, on those drives to Lubbock, everything was good. I would hear stories of all the fun things that they did before I was born (their road trip across Germany with my dad‘s parents); listen to music of their generation (the Beatles); and interesting facts about the things that we saw along the way (“the glass ass“ in Muleshoe, TX.).
I couldn’t wait until the time when I got my driver’s license and could actually do the driving; give my parents a break after all of those years. Today, my mom is still the one who typically does the driving, so that I can do homework. The scenery is still pretty boring, and the towns haven’t changed much in 15 years, but I have no sense of loathing toward it. I know that eventually I will be making these trips by myself, and when I start to become bored, I’ll just crank some Beatles and everything will be alright.
My family is rather chaotic and as such, I cannot easily pin down a single memory to explain them as a whole, so I'll just talk about two of the most important people in my life.
My mom is the strongest person I know, and she always taught me to do things myself and not rely on anyone to do it for me, particularly not a man. She's had many bad relationships and for a very long time I judged her for that, but now I am learning to appreciate her flaws and change her mistakes in my own life. She's at her best when she's happy and independent doing what she has to do for her family. My best memory of her is when she was struggling as a single mom and carried me along with the groceries through the snow to our house. We live in the mountains so the weather can be quite a nuisance sometimes.
My baby brother, okay well he's thirteen so I guess he's not a baby, is a video game fanatic and he watches more Youtube videos in one day then I have in my lifetime. Yet, he is very intelligent and knows much more about life than I did at his age. He's always there for me and never criticizes anyone. He's a "go with the flow" kinda guy. Long ago, when we were little, we were playing in my grandma's backyard when our ball rolled down into the lower level which is filled with weeds and goat-heads, unlike the heavenly upper level. Neither of us had shoes, but my brother offered to go get it. He got about halfway when the goat-heads took their toll and he sat down crying. My sisterly instincts kicked in, and I marched down there, picked him up, and carried him back up to safety. The added weight buried the goat-heads deep into my skin, but I didn't even notice the pain. My brother always brings out the best in me, and I would go to great lengths to ensure his prosperity.
My family is small, but I believe that love forms a very strong bond between us and that is why we have been able to weather so many storms. I think that we have done very well so far, and that we will continue to learn from each other and grow even closer.
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