So, I was wondering what your opinions on marriage are. Do you agree that it is a vital part of society and social structures? Do you think that we could exist in a society without marriage? What does marriage mean to you and your family? Can you be as close with your relatives by marriage as you are with your blood relatives?
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Marriage...
Since I have been hearing about so many weddings going on lately, I wanted to ask you all about marriage and if you think it is important part of family and society. In my anthropology class we are learning about how marriage binds not only two people together, but two families together. It is a key part of the social structure in many cultures because it establishes social relationships that are the foundation for families and households.
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I definitely think that marriage is important and should not be taken lightly. However, I do not believe that marriage is a vital part of life. A society without marriage could exist but I don't really know how that would even go because our society is so used to marriage.
In my family marriage is not a necessity but if one of us did decide to get married, it needs to be taken seriously. I believe that you have to really know the person and make sure that you are ready to handle a lifelong commitment.
As far as being close to relatives through marriage, my family definitely is. I'm extremely close to my brother in law and not just because he and my sister live across the street. When they got married his family became a part of ours and ours of his. It really depends on if your family gets along with the new in law if they become close or not. I know some of my cousins who are married can't really stand their in laws. I'm just glad that my immediate family doesn't have that problem. :)
Yes, I do agree that marriage plays a vital role in the social structure of a society. However, I don’t think there is societal pressure to be married or single. It is not uncommon to know people that are older and still single or that have been married and divorced. We don’t have the pressure of arranged marriages or marrying by a certain age. I think this is a societal value that has changed from as recent as 50-100 years ago. Societal views of women alone greatly influence the views of marriage. In the 1900s women were expected to be housewives and take care of kids and now women aren’t confined by those expectations. I believe that society couldn’t exist without marriage because it is the beginning of the next generation of a family and carrying on familial traditions. I don’t mean that it’s all some happy sort of thing but even when a divorce happens, if the two people had children together, the child forever bonds them.
To my family, marriage is something that is not taken lightly. As I’m sure most all families think it is a big deal. Family is extremely important to all of us and even introducing a boyfriend/girlfriend to the family is a big deal. Both my immediate and extended family very much value the concept of marriage as not only bringing two people together, but also combining two families. My brother is currently engaged to be married next June. I think I am taking it way worse than anyone else. :P My brother and I have always been so close that him being married is just weird for me. Our age difference played a role in me never really knowing much of his “dating” life and I feel like now that I am old enough for us to be comfortable talking about these things he’s getting married. I am sure eventually my future sister-in-law (that alone sounds…bleh) will get along but it is hard for me to accept that my brother will start his own family. Perhaps I am having a hard time letting go of our childhood... Ha! As far as the rest of my family goes, I do have some in-law relatives that I am much closer with than my blood relatives and the other way around. All in all, in my family, be sure that the marriage is going to last. I have an uncle who was engaged and everyone in our family loved his fiancée, they broke up for whatever their reasons, my family went into an uproar. Poor guy… truthfully, I attribute my family's views to our heritage. :P
I think marriage and families completely depends on the families involved. There are many instances in which the two families can not stand one another and therefore it actually tears apart the families from the bride and groom. However, there are also instances that the familes become inseperable, even if the two get a divorce. It is not like you choose who to marry based on your family's compatability, so it is totally up to chance how it combines the two.
I know marriage to me however is very important. It creates the basis for a new family that will one day create another. It really is like the root of a strong family, and I hope someday to be able to start my own as well. I can only hope my family will get along with my future husbands, but who knows!
I think marriage is an important part of the society that we live in. Many of our institutions today are based on marriage, from the conventional idea of family, to issues dealing with law and finances. Marriage is such an ingrained part of our society that I don't think it could function without it. On an individual level, I think that marriage is an important decision that shouldn't be taken lightly, but it's not necessarily for everyone. In other words, if you want to get married, that is your choice, but don't take that decision lightly, and if you choose not to get married, that's fine too. Family can be defined by marriage, and often is, but that is not the only way to define family. A child raised by a single parent who has never been married still has a family. As for the closeness between people and their in-laws, I think people can be as close to in-laws as they are to blood relatives, it just depends on the people involved.
I think that marriage is a beautiful connection between two people, however, I do not think that it is necessary to keep society functioning. I think that marriage is just a plus to everyday life. It has many perks, but without it, I do not think that major damage would occur.
In complete honesty, I think the only true marriage that I have witnessed is my Nana and Papa's. Therefore, I do not really have a complete understanding of why marriage is so important because most of my family and friend's families are either divored or living in an unhappy marriage. Although, I personally think that marriage should be held to a very high standard and that two people should be completely commited and ready to spend the rest of their lives together. Sadly, marriage has become somewhat of a joke in today's society; hopefully, it will gain some of its respect back soon.
I have never had an opportunity to get close to an in-law, yet I do think that it is possible to become close with them. It just greatly depends on the initially connection and relationship that the two families share.
I love weddings. They always seem like such happy occasions filled with love. My manager from work got married last weekend, and while I was unable to attend the wedding, I know how anxious she was about finally getting to be with her true love. I also know how many people she had supporting her, her family and all of us from work included.
Something interesting about her wedding though, regarding family, is that her fiancé has a son. This means, as of last Saturday, she now had a step-son. In today's society, this seems to happen more and more often (either because of divorces or by having a child out of wedlock). For whatever reason it may be, I think that having the child like you is one of the most important familial relationships that you should develop. Particularly if the step-parent is going to be the part of the primary care unit for the child from now on. Now, I’m not sure whether my manager will have her step-son living with her now, but I do know that they have a great bond. He loves coming to spend time with his dad and my manager, and she loves having him.
I think that things have worked out great for her. She’s married to the guy of her dreams and is in an environment full of love and support. However, I think she would have found happiness even if her family had not gotten along with his. I realize that it would have been much harder, but I think the love between the couple is usually more important than what the family thinks. This is why there are many eloping.
I think that marriage is a very important aspect of society, and I can’t wait til I meet Mister Right and have my own dream wedding. I hope that my family will at least be supportive of my union, if not get along perfectly with my in-laws. Perfection is only a fantasy, but it is one to hope for. Happiness, however, is obtainable.
Marriage is an important part of our society, even as its definition evolves, and is important to many other societies. I haven't been able to find information about any cultures that don't do marriage-- there may not be any.
That said, I'm sure a society without marriage as we know it could exist -- that is, a society without monogamous, two-person relationships intended to last for a lifetime (but frequently ending sooner) and aid in the raising of any children that may be born.
There would have to be some other way of connecting family groups, however. I think a society can't exist without family groups (family here defined as a group of people connected by blood, upbringing, sharing of lives, etc.) Families are the basic unit of civilization; in order to build a civilization, the units have to stick together. That's one of the functions of marriages of any sort.
Based on my experiences with my own parents, marriage is about wanting to build a life together. It's not about finding the perfect man/woman. It's not about the wedding. It's about wanting to spend a very long time with somebody you love, and being willing to spend years strengthening your relationship. It's an endeavor.
One last note: In some cultures, there have been temporary marriages, lasting only a fixed length of time. (See the wikipedia article on marriage.) Maybe this would be a good thing to institute in modern America, since so many people end up getting divorced anyway. What do you guys think?
I agree that marriage is a vital part of society. Society is shaped around the idea of marriage. Little girls grow up with ideas about Prince Charming and what kind of wedding they want. Society seems to associate marriage with happiness. There are a plethora of movies that paint a picture that single people are not happy, and that once they find the right person and wed, they are immediately happy. I think the companionship and love in a marriage does indeed bring happiness, and marriage is a accepted norm in society.
However, I would say that society could still survive without marriage. Love and companionship still exist without marriage. People still participate in society regardless of if they are married or not. And with the higher and higher rates of divorce, marriages do not seem to be turning out to be the ideal image everyone has been given.
Marriage solidifies a commitment to one another, but I think society can still exist without marriage.
I think marriage is a very important matter. It is a commitment, and should be taken very seriously. People should get married when they feel that they are ready to commit to one another, and not for any outside influences such as the ideas society has painted about marriage.
Since I was a little girl, one of my one goals in life is to fall in love and get married. Therefore, marriage is hugely important to me personally.
I don't believe there is any truly legitimate way to have kids without being married, and when you have a family, I believe having a covenant with your spouse and God is hugely crucial to making that family work.
I think today's culture has undermined the importance of marriage, and has in fact made it unnecessary. I am personally disgusted by this. God invented marriage as the bond between a man and woman, unique to any other bond.
If my parents were not married, I would not feel the same way toward them. In a way, I would consider them bad examples of God's purpose for mankind. As you can tell, I feel very strongly about marriage, and hope to someday be married myself. :)
I definitely believe that marriage is important, I don't know about necessary though. If two people love each other and are committed to each other, that's all that matters. People can live together and have kids and a life together, and if they get married the only thing that changes is they have a title. I myself want that title someday and to make my life with someone official, but just saying, it isn't absolutely necessary.
As for marriage bringing families together, yes it usually definitely does. However, it depends on the family and their culture. Marriage can tear families apart in some cases, and in some families they don't want to make a huge deal of it. I personally want a beautiful wedding and I believe it will bring my and my man's family together!
I'm glad to see that everyone has their own unique opinions about marriage and what it means to them. It's very interesting to read all of your comments!
I personally feel that marriage is a bond between two people who love one another. Sure it may only just be a "title" but what's important to note is that a title means something. The word itself would be insignificant without the meaning it holds. I think that this is one of the reasons that gay marriage should be legal. Who's to say what can and cannot be considered as marriage? I personally believe that it is defined by ourselves and what it means to the individual and denying people something they want is denying them a basic civil right. Well enough of my tangent...all in all, I think that marriage is a serious thing and the foundation of a family. Families can exist without a marriage, but I think that in many cases, having a partner in life to support you makes it much easier.
I'm going to leave a bombastic statement that many might find offensive. Marriage is not imperative to society in the least sense. The foundation of marriage is based on antediluvian customs that are generations outdated. It is a cruel stated opinion based on crude communication between society members.
So my very opinionated opinion playing the role of devil's advocate is that before technological advances like the telephone and the internet, it was impossible for people to keep constant communication with many people. So marriage bonded families in order to found communities. These statements can be backed by how divorce rates are steadily increasing, with an inverse rate of communication between people increasing.
So what is your opinion?
I believe marriage is an important part of society today and should not be taken lightly. I agree with Amanda that God invented marriage as the basis for family and for how he created us to interact as human beings. However, in today's culture, marriage almost doesn't mean anything anymore. It's tossed around and abused and then torn apart! It makes me so sad. That's why so many families today are broken and hurt. The basis for family is marriage and without that firm foundation how can a family ever grow and flourish? I believe marriage is a special and beautiful... and serious commitment between two people. It's such a powerful thing and can turn into beauty or destruction, all depending on the maturity and intent and real love that a couple puts into it.
Lately in society marriage is becoming less and less important. With the amount of adultery and divorce occurring, it is losing meaning. And it is possible to have a relationship without that type of commitment. A good friend of mine had a family member who was in a relationship, and they were faithful only to each other, but they never got married because they felt their relationship was legitimate without the law saying so. People who value a bond like that cherish it not because they have someone else's approval, but because they share something with another person. Therefore those who value marriage would not mind as long as they still had their bond, and society could exist without marriage.
Unfortunately, my family doesn't seem to do too well with marriage, though. Every one of my mom's five brothers and sisters has been divorced or seperated. We were visiting once and talking about marriage and supporting the other person no matter what and I just remember it really striking me. I can't even fathom a bond of that depth, marriage is something so far from where I am in my life right now. Even so, it is definitely not something I would take lightly. I do think it is possible to be as close with relatives by marriage as blood relatives. Two of my favorite cousins are cousins by marriage. They are like friends but tied to you in a different way because you are sort of forced to get to know each other. I adore talking to them and catching up and asking for advice. I am grateful for all my relatives whether they are by blood or by marriage.
I think marriage is a healthy part of our society. I agree with Bridget that it should not be taken lightly and is not completely vital. I do not agree, however, that marriage has become less useful because communication has increased. I also think that divorce is on the rise because it is more socially acceptable. People don’t take marriage as seriously as they used to because it’s not as big of a commitment anymore given the easy out. Marriage is still important to society though and people still throw extravagant celebrations. Two people bonding through a marriage is still beautiful, and even though marriage itself has been somewhat depreciated, I believe that there are people who will remain married for their entire lives. I think that blood creates a good bond, but people can still bond just as deeply without it. It’s just about meeting them, and if you meet your best friend through a marriage than more power to you.
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