In Frankenstein, Victor creates a "monster"-- a hideous being who repulses everyone he meets.
This makes me curious. If by some birth defect, your brother was born just as hideous as we all picture Frankenstein's "monster", how would you react? Would you love him just as you would were he born beautiful? Would you stand up for him against bullies that torment him? Would your relationship with him be any different than if he were handsome? Why or why not?
On a different note, what if you had no familial bond whatsoever with someone this hideous? If you saw someone that fits this description regularly, would you take the time to get to know him? Or would you avoid him? Would it be any different with this stranger than with a brother who has the same condition?
Feel free to be completely honest- blunt even. I am truly curious as to how you all believe you would respond. I can't wait to hear your opinions!
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I think if its family its so much different because you grew up with that person and are used to how they look. Therefore, yes, you love them the same. Also, if you were raised together, children don't really care about appearance, they will be friends with anyone.
On the other question, I think many people avoid people who look frightening but if you get to know them, many are genuine people. They are probably the nicest person you will ever meet, or the most interesting. I try to avoid the impulse to avoid people who do not appear the same as others. I hope everyone tries to not alienate someone because of looks.
If I had a sibling that was a "monster", it wouldn't be any different to me. They would still be my family, and I would love them no matter what. They would still be them. However, I think that the relationship between us would be different than that of normal siblings. A former English teacher of mine had severe scoliosis, causing her to be extremely short. I would not qualify this as looking like a "monster", but I have a point. She told us a story once of how her older brothers did not baby her; they even teased her so that she would grow tougher skin to the mean people of the world. Her brothers loved her, and she knew that. They helped her to cope with something that wasn't her fault. Another way of handling it would be to be a guardian to my sibling; watching out for and comforting them when the people of the world were cruel. All families do this in some manner, but I feel as though it would be enhanced in this particular instance.
Now, if I were to just encounter someone this grotesque on the street, I would probably be grossed out and terrified. Shallow, I know. However, this would be just an initial impression. Say that this person started talking with me. I feel that I am very polite, so I would at least give them my attention. Depending on how that went, I would go from there. The old cliche "It's what's on the inside that counts" is a cliche because its true. Final judgments about a person should not be made solely on how they look.
If my sibling were someone like that, I hope and believe that I wouldn't care and I would take care of them and love them regardless. I agree that it makes a difference if you have grown up with someone and are accostomed to their differences and you know them on a personal level. I think I would be the type of person to take care of and stand up for my sibling if people were cruel to them. If people hurt someone I loved, no matter how they look, I know that I'd be super pissed.
On the other hand if the person and I were not related, I don't know how I'd react. I tend to have a problem with staring at people so I might have to watch that. But I think I'm a pretty friendly and outgoing person and I think that I would try to get to know the person before judging them. I don't think that I would avoid them just because of how they look.
If one of my sisters was born a "monster" I don't think that I would act any differently than I do now. Ugly or beautiful, family is family. I don't love my family because they're perfect (which they're not) I love them regardless of their flaws. I agree with what Katina said about growing up with a "monster" sibling because you would already be used to them so it wouldn't be any different.
As for the other question, if I encountered a "monster" my initial reaction would be to be scared or grossed out. Appearances aren't everything but when you haven't actually gotten to know the person that's all you have to go off of. If this "monster" tried to talk to me I'd give him the benefit of the doubt and listen because everyone deserves a chance. It would depend on how that went because there would be a whole other side of this "monster" to consider. It's definitely true that "You can't judge a book by its cover."
If I had a sibling who was born hideous, I'd probably be used to the way they looked and love them wholeheartedly anyway, and I would certainly protect them against bullies. I think we've all agreed on that so far, and that's as it should be.
However, I'm pretty sure that such a condition would affect a sibling relationship, whether we'd like to admit it or not. Maybe the 'hideous' sibling would have accompanying health problems that take up parental time, or put a strain on the family finances. Maybe the 'normal' siblings would be secretly ashamed of the way their sibling looks. The power of familial love isn't able to keep away these (normal) negative feelings all the time-- just consider how often your existing family bother you!
To sum up: we'd all love our ugly sibling just the same, sure, but it would be a more challenging relationship, even if we felt nothing but care and concern for them.
Anyone want to challenge that?
Like everyone else said, I wouldn't care what my brother looked like. He could be handsome, or he could be hideous. I'd still love him all the same. Because he's family, I know that I will always be there for him. Also, because families know just about every little thing about each other since they usually live in the same house and spend lots of time together, families don't tend to judge each other on appearance. They already know each others' personalities, and I don't think looks factor into how families connect.
However, with people I randomly meet, appearance is the first thing noticed. I don't have any knowledge of the person other than what he/she looks like, and I don't have a familial bond or setting to have to get to know him/her. When I see an absolute stranger, my first impressions are always based on what he/she looks like. I mean, that's what I see. If I pass someone on the street and just catch a glimpse of him/her, I can't be like "Oh, just by looking, I could tell he/she has a ____ personality and likes classical music." With a stranger, I have to let go of judging by looks and actually talk to them, and then, based on their personality, I can figure out who they are. However, since strangers are not like people in the family who are constantly around, it could be hard to get to know them besides just knowing their outward appearance.
I usually try not to judge people based on what they look like, but it is very hard. A person's looks definitely do not define that person. However, if I'm walking alone late at night in a shady part of town, I'm pretty sure I would avoid the person who looked like Frankenstein's "monster." Society has painted in my mind certain "profiles" of people, and it is hard to break out of judging people based on how they look.
Amy, I think your point is really interesting, and I agree that although we'd still love our sibling the same, the "hideous" condition could cause a strain.
I would just like to add that the case could also be made for siblings that are extremely beautiful. For example, if a girl had a sister who was gorgeous and always got the boys and attention, I'd think a slight tinge of jealousy would arise, regardless of familial bonds.
So now I'm wondering, would it be harder to have a super gorgeous or super hideous sibling?
All of your points are awesome. I definitely agree that the sibling should be loved the same regardless of appearance. I also would love him unconditionally.
I agree, also, with Amy and Ruth. I believe such a circumstance would change a typical sibling bond. I know that if I had a sibling hideous and unaccepted in society, I would be immensely protective and I know that I would go absolutely nuts toward anyone who treated my sibling wrong.
If it was a stranger, I admit that I would be hesitant. I think it would be a gradual thing, I know I wouldn't judge their personality or anything of the sort at first sight, but I would be slower to approach them. If I knew them after a while to be a decent person, I would love to take the time to get to know them.
Ruth- great question! Maybe it would be harder to have a beautiful sibling, because of jealousy. But it would be different. Maybe it would put a barrier between you two rather than a close bond as we seem to think we would have with our hideous sibling?
I guess it would depend how old I was. If I was younger I would probably be horrified at first because he would be unlike anything I had ever seen, but then as time went on I would probably get used to it and love him like any other family member. If I was older I would probably be more sensitive to the fact that he looked different from normal people, but I don't know how strong our relationship would be. I would like to think that I would stand up for him, but it would be hard because people are generally selfish and consider their own reputation and embarrassment above other people. It would be hard, but I think that eventually I would stand with him against bullies. It would be a different relationship because we would be more bonded when standing against other people, but I might feel sorry for him, which I imagine he would hate.
I guess in a real life situation I wouldn't know what to think. I would probably run (not literally) that way I wouldn't even have to make the decision. Maybe he's nice, maybe he's not, I wouldn't know because I wouldn't talk to him. I wouldn't be mean to him or nice to him. I guess I would just be neutral. Of course it would be different between a brother and a stranger because one, you've grown up with a brother and two, you can't choose who you're family is. That sounds kind of messed up, but I've met distant family that I know I would never have talked to if they were strangers instead of family.
If I had a sibling who was born a "monster," I think that I would love him as much as any sibling, especially if we were raised together. I think it's important to note that "hideous" and "beautiful" are relative terms that matter less to younger children than to young adults. Of course, children do have ideas of what it is to look "normal," but I think that generally, the younger we are, the less judgmental we are. Also, if this so-called "monster" was in my family, there would be the immediate want/need to feel connected, and his physical appearance wouldn't mean a thing. I don't think that the sibling relationship would be that different in regards to the level of protectiveness I would feel. Of course, I would be more sensitive to the specific judgements about his "monster" appearance, but that protectiveness is not unique to extreme cases such as this one. My brother and sister are protective of me because I'm the baby, and, no matter how much I complain about her, I will not let anyone else say a bad thing about my sister, and we're a completely "normal-looking" family. That being said, I agree with Amy that there would be a strain on a family with a "monster child," but the family love would still be there.
As for seeing a stranger who was hideous, I'd like to think I would see past that, but realistically, my first reaction would at least be discomfort. I wouldn't run away screaming like the people in Frankenstein, I'd like to think I have more self control than that. As long as he wasn't a monster on the inside, once I got to know him I think I would accept him.
I would have to say that initially, growing up with a sibling that looked like a "monster" would probably make no difference in the relationship. Children are good at not judging based on appearance, so I have the feeling the "monster" sibling would just be accepted for who they were. However, during the middle/high school years, is probably when the realization would occur that this sibling isn't "normal." This is probably when a strain on the relationship would take place and some serious heart issues would have to be considered.
I think in my case, I would still love my sibling no matter what but I could see some feelings of jealousy (maybe they get spoiled more) or concern (teasing at school that you are too embarrassed to stop) that might hinder that relationship. Trials often make us stronger though, so all in all, I would hope to be able to work out these difficulties and still be as close as normal siblings.
I think in a familial situation, of course you are going to love that person regardless of appearance and stick up for them if anyone bullied them. I think that you might even become closer with that individual under these circumstances.
If there was no familial obligation towards this person you would act differently. Obviously, it is in our nature to judge people, we do it everyday. So if you saw someone walking around looking like Frankenstein's monster anyone would be shocked and taken aback by this. I think that it is whether or not you choose to look past the outer appearance of someone and get to know them on a personal level. I personally try not to discriminate or judge people on their appearances, but sometimes it is hard not to. In those cases I just keep my opinions to myself because nothing hurts me more than seeing other people getting picked on or bullied.
I think everyone wishes they could say that they would not be affected, that they would stand strong and love that person or get to know that individual. Some do have the personality to do that, but some do not. We are human, and humans seek acceptance. At some point the pressure gets to people and they crack. Judgement is a powerful thing.
If my brother was born as some hideous monster I would think of him no differently. I would definitely stand up for him like I know he would for me. I believe that to your family, superficial qualities are irrelevant. Familial bonds and familial love are unconditional. Good, bad or indifferent, I know my family will always love me. Many families do have loved ones that are deformed or have disabilities and might appear strange to others but are loved by their families just as much.
I unfortunately have to agree that I would more than likely not give the person the time to get to know them. I would be decent and polite but I would not treat them the same as anyone else I just met. With a brother, I would have a bond not only of love but also of familiarity and would be used to the different appearance simply from growing up around him. Actually, the more I think about it… I could potentially see myself giving that person a chance. I think if I had been exposed to the tolerance of dealing with someone who might not appear as anyone else would cause me to want to treat the "hideous" person the way I would want people to be kind and polite towards my brother. Our world is initially judged off of looks and appearances because first impressions don't allow us to know otherwise.
All of this said: I also agree with Amy that although the love and compassion is there, naturally relationship strains will also be present.
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